• Pauline Wallace

Rosh Hashanah, Rocks, Rivers, and Not-Enoughness





There is a beautiful Jewish tradition for the new year at Rosh Hashanah. You throw rocks, representing what you want to release from the past year, into the river to be washed clean. I write on my rocks. This year I wrote "Not- Enough."

"I am not enough." That is the biggest limiting belief I fight. I deflate it, ignore it, stuff cookies on top of it, drown it out, tap on it, meditate through it, pray and petition over it, cut soul ties to it, break agreement with it,....you get the idea. It goes. It clears. A good abundant flow begins then wham! It's back doing damage. Why? What lesson am I drawing that I clearly need to understand to thrive? Well, something good just happened.


I was at a retreat with my faith fellowship and among many other revelation stimulating thoughts, the amazing speaker, Jeremy Lopez from The Identity Network, talked about words that begin with "re". "Re" means something already was or once was. Jeremy reminded us that we were all once, at the beginning of time, tucked into the light and life of Jesus fully stocked with all we would ever need in this life to co-create with God. I'm paraphrasing but I hope you get the idea. A few days later it hit me, there is no not-enoughness. Rather there is loss of memory of full abundant complete supply and the way we are designed to attract it because we are it. The cross leads us to back to that remembrance.


Not- enough is a direct challenge to restoration! I restore. I have RESTORE spelled out in 18" letters in my consultation room. I named my biofield practice Arukah, which means renew, rebuild, restore. As far back as I can recall I have restored stuff; furniture, gardens, clothing. But then the lie would whisper; "you don't have enough to give", "You aren't enough."" You have a tiny impact and you should be happy for that." " You don't offer enough to get well paid" and everything I do suddenly looks shabby. Sound familiar to anyone? I am listing the lies because I know I'm not alone. Most persistent lies need a flip. What is the opposite? The limiting belief can serve to point to the truth. I get to re-lease, re-stock, re-call, re-plenish, re-member. It is who I am. The not-enough is the lie.


Available to me, to us all is everything we will ever need to rediscover ourselves; to joyfully, gratefully, gracefully, find and do our best work in this life. There is no not-enough in God. Abundance flows in love, from that place of " Be still and know that I am God." Ps 46:10, from that place of living in the present moment that is both now and outside of time flowing from the heart that yearns to remember.


The first snow of the season fell here in Calgary on the new moon evening of Rosh Hashanah. When water transforms from ice to liquid, it loses its memory. It is reset. It is restored. Into those waters I throw the weight of my not-enough rock. The process of washing away the traces of those words by the shimmering depths begins with the new year. May ripples of abundance replace the ripples of not-enoughness for us all as we move into a new decade with the year 5780.


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